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This had better be pneumonia... - Howard Tayler
Ramblings of a Happy Cartoonist
This had better be pneumonia...
I've been mostly flat on my back for the better part of the last two weeks. I've complained about the air quality (it's bad) and my asthma (it's still around), I've pointed at a chest cold as a trigger event, but for the life of me this does NOT make sense. I'm in fine physical condition, I no longer feel sick, but the air around me is just too thin to support life.

I tried muscling through it with albuterol and a positive mental attitude on Friday. That didn't go well. I walked to Church this morning. That was fine... up until 30 minutes later when I was quietly gasping for breath while doing nothing more demanding than sitting in the pew. So no, I guess that didn't go well either. I've spent six waking hours today flat on my back.

Counting backwards, I think I've spent at least 100 waking hours laid out flat in the last two weeks. My workaholism is raging at this impotence.

Part of me knows that I need to be forced to take a vacation sometimes. Part of me thinks that this is all psychosomatic, and that if I can just find the right combination of "can-do" and "eff-you" I'll be able to get some work done. That part of me was given a shot at things on Friday, and again this morning. He got the "eff-you" part down pat, but I ended up very "can't-don't" in the process.

So... I'm off to the doctor tomorrow. Let me tell you, if there isn't a solid, measurable, medical reason for me to feel this way I'm going to be seriously pissed off. I don't want to be told that I've developed a psychosis that enforces laziness. I want to be told I can't get any work done because there's a massive colony of intelligent bacteria slum-lording my lungs out to their unevolved brethren.

Real sick is better than fake sick because sane is better than crazy. (Though I've always had to settle for "high-functioning" instead of "sane.")
21 comments or Leave a comment
truthmaker From: truthmaker Date: January 17th, 2010 11:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Are you running a fever? If not then you can rule out Flu, though your symptoms sound similar to what my niece had when the swine flu hit her.
howardtayler From: howardtayler Date: January 17th, 2010 11:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
No fever.
agilebrit From: agilebrit Date: January 17th, 2010 11:32 pm (UTC) (Link)

But, Howard, only you could make being this sick that funny. "Massive colony of intelligent bacteria slum-lording my lungs out to their unevolved brethren." BRB, LOLing 4ever.
dcrisp From: dcrisp Date: January 17th, 2010 11:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
When I read that I immediatly pictured a Colony of Seargeant Schlocks inhabiting the lungs.
howardtayler From: howardtayler Date: January 17th, 2010 11:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
howardtayler From: howardtayler Date: January 17th, 2010 11:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
(I will also learn to cough streams of hot plasma on my enemies.)
dcrisp From: dcrisp Date: January 18th, 2010 12:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Dude, you better get a doctor to look at that! That sounds nasty! :)
lionsphil From: lionsphil Date: January 18th, 2010 01:03 am (UTC) (Link)
You might want to defer that one until the blood nannies have finished reinforcing and thermally insulating your trachea.
serpentrose From: serpentrose Date: January 18th, 2010 03:34 am (UTC) (Link)
So THAT's how dragons breathe 'fire'.
*has a wonderful image of a dragon with an ominous hummmm*
ladyfox7oaks From: ladyfox7oaks Date: January 18th, 2010 04:45 am (UTC) (Link)
But will you go "Omminnoouuussss Huuuummmmmm"?!
looniewolf From: looniewolf Date: January 18th, 2010 12:03 am (UTC) (Link)
Well, if the docs can't figure it out, then you could always try affirmations. Scott Adams talks about them. And even if it's psychosomatic (the effects of affirmations), if you can't find a reason as to your illness then psychosomatic medicine can prevail against psychosomatic symptoms, true?
maritzac From: maritzac Date: January 18th, 2010 01:50 am (UTC) (Link)
Okay, not being able to breathe properly is WAY HIGH on the list of things for "Get to a doctor, ASAP".

I can't believe you wasted two entire weeks trying to walk it off.

My bet is you probably had swine flu and now your breathing capacity has diminished. You need treatment.
howardtayler From: howardtayler Date: January 18th, 2010 02:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Nah, I did the Type A, Subtype H1N1 Influenza thing, complete with the fever and the rest of the symptoms, back in November I think.

This had no fever and only very mild symptoms... right up until the point that it felt like I was a V8 engine with only 2 cylinders firing.
rowyn From: rowyn Date: January 18th, 2010 03:51 am (UTC) (Link)
Get well soon! We're all counting on you for more Schlock.

Also, are you sure sane is better than crazy? For what values of "sane" and "crazy"?
melchar From: melchar Date: January 18th, 2010 04:07 am (UTC) (Link)
If you've been sick and live at a higher elevation, diminished lung capacity could result in you not being able to get the oxygen in your lungs that you need. You might want to check out 'chronic mountain sickness' -
howardtayler From: howardtayler Date: January 18th, 2010 06:12 am (UTC) (Link)
Pretty sure that's not it. I live at 4800 feet above sea level. That page indicated you needed to be at 3000 meters, which is about twice as high.
ketira From: ketira Date: January 18th, 2010 09:08 am (UTC) (Link)
WHEN you go to the doctor, be sure to ask if echinacea will work with your medicines. It jump-starts your immune system....

Any road, there's something else you *may* have (note the stress - let the doc tell you for sure) --COPD.

Any road, I don't think it's laziness. I think it's your bod telling you that you need to move closer to sea level, or else somewhere like Oregon....

Belive me, I understand. I had bouts of bronchitis for a few years, until my doctor (at the time) told me to keep my sinuses drained. I've followed that, and haven't had a bout of that nasty critter since.

Luck to you, hon; you're a rare gem these days, y'know that? ...and don't forget to blog IN the strip what the diagnosis was. Or Twitter, at least.
(Deleted comment)
ccdesan From: ccdesan Date: January 18th, 2010 10:05 am (UTC) (Link)
Hqiz. Get well soon, friend.
r_caton From: r_caton Date: January 18th, 2010 03:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
Good Luck to you Sir. And if you get told to rest then REST.
Health is one of those things unappreciated until it hets a bit iffy...
Here's a wish that it is something simple that can be dealt with effectively.
howardtayler From: howardtayler Date: January 18th, 2010 04:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've been resting all damn week. And all damn last week, too. If rest is the answer, somebody's asking the wrong question.

(But if rest is PART of the answer, with the rest of it being a battery of antibiotics, tumor removal, or something similarly medical sounding then I shall go ahead and rest.)
21 comments or Leave a comment